Month: August 2018

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Life brought me a sh*load of lemons and this is how I made lemonade.

We all know the saying “When life brings you lemons, make lemonade”.I’ll be honest, whenever life brought me lemons, it was sour, face puckering torture and I didn’t like it one bit! To make something delightfully sweet and delicious was never my first inclination. Sometimes when the lemons came it was so awful I didn’t know how to turn it into something delectable. At other times, even though I didn’t like the lemons, I allowed the lemons to repeatedly disgust me. My lemons consisted of child abuse, low self worth, weight issues/eating disorder, dysfunctional relationships, divorce, depression, financial devastation, and sex addiction. These are some majorly acidic lemons, but I will tell you there is hope AND it is possible to make delicious lemonade.

I will say that my path to making lemonade has not been an easy one. It has been a process, that has involved a lot of f*ing up, surrendering, letting go, acceptance, and taking action. Lemonade is a great metaphor for life. It can be sour, sweet, spicy, boring, and exciting. The best lemonade is one that has a bit of tanginess, is refreshing, and has the perfect amount of sweetness. I even like the lemonades that have a little cayenne pepper, ginger and mint added because they add spice and dimension. Add some alcohol to it and now it’s become fun!

Here are the ingredients I have used to make lemonade:

  1. Therapy– Even though I have always been very fortunate to have very supportive friends in my life, your friends can only hear you bitch and moan for so long. After a while, they get tired and just want to you to move on with your life. This is where a therapist or life coach is great. They get paid to hear you bitch and moan AND they are there to help you get through whatever issues you have. Good therapists and coaches also have a neutral perspective, so they are not biased. They help you to get to the root of the problem and guide you to solutions to whatever is troubling you.
  2. Spirituality– My connection to God (I use this term as the spiritual omnipresent energy that is bigger than all of us) has helped me through some of my darkest hours. I have had moments where I have wanted to commit suicide and when I had these moments, I would feel something outside of myself. I would feel angels and spirits guiding me. Surprisingly, what got me through was somehow I had never felt like I was alone and that I was supported. There were times when I would pray multiple times in a day and I would ask for strength, guidance, and support. I always felt like God delivered.
  3. Self love– I will say this one was and still is the hardest one to work on. My self worth has always ranked pretty low considering that I’ve had an abusive childhood, I’ve had dysfunctional relationships, and narcissistic partners. My hatred for myself has lead me to eating disorders, irresponsible behavior, and addictions. Having compassion towards myself and treating myself with kindness is an everyday struggle. Yet, I do understand that being able to accept yourself for who you are and being forgiving towards yourself is crucial. If you don’t love yourself, then who truly will be able to love you? I believe we all attract people who are mirrors to show us who we are. This is why it is vital to do to be the best version of yourself knowing that you will never be perfect. I have learned through many failed relationships, that I must love myself, put my needs first, and understand I am deserving of having someone love me. All of us have gifts that make us special. It is important to focus on what we do love about ourselves instead of focusing on our shortcomings. It is important that we are aware of our imperfections and not to hate ourselves because of them. It is important to find the sweetness within ourselves instead of looking outward for the sweetness.
  4. Taking action and doing the work to shift my perspective-Many of us have to repeat actions and circumstances before we learn our lesson. How many times have you attracted the same type of person and after getting your heart broken over and over again, you tell yourself this has to stop! Moments like this I had to make the decision that I was going to shift my belief patterns and change my actions. This is where therapy was very useful and sharing with my loved ones that I was serious about making changes and I needed their support to help me if I was repeating my unhealthy behavior. This is not easy and it requires the commitment and dedication to wanting to change. I do believe we can change if the desire is strong enough.  We may still have setbacks and falter, but we need to get back up, forgive ourselves, and continue the work.
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Astrological signs that are most compatible

A frequently asked question that I get when it comes to romantic compatiblity is what is the most compatible sign for each sign. In my previous article, I wrote about which planets and houses are important in looking at compatibility. https://thyminhpham.com/2018/08/20/planets-and-houses-to-look-for-in-astrology-when-it-comes-to-romantic-compatibility/ In this article, we will look at the elements. There are four elements in astrology and they are earth, water, fire, and air. Astrology is complex and in compatibility it is much more than your sun sign. I will simplify and go through which elements are most compatible. In astrology, if you stay within your element, this is considered to be the “most ideal” situation. So for example if you are an air sign, the most ideal pairing would be with another air sign. Next in line for compatibility if you don’t stay within your element, is the complimentary element. The first complimentary pairing elements are earth and water.  Earth signs are Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo. Water signs are Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio. The second complimentary pairing elements are fire and water. Fire signs are Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. Air signs are Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra. An interesting aspect to take note is opposite signs tend to have a magnetic attraction to eachother and opposite signs are where the elements are complimentary. An example of an opposite pairing is Aries and Libra. Aries is a fire sign and Libra is an air sign.

To be clear, it is “ideal” to either stay within your element or be with a complimentary element sign. To go even further, you need to look at more than just the sun sign. Looking at your moon and Venus is actually more accurate than looking at your sun sign. I will say that even if the sun signs may not seem compatible, when you look in other areas of the chart, you will almost always see why the couple is attracted to each other.

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Planets and Houses to look for in Astrology when it comes to Romantic Compatibility

I often get asked when people find out that I am an Astrologer if they are compatible with their romantic partners. Most people are not aware that Astrology is very complex and when it comes to compatibility it is much more than the sun sign and if anything, the sun sign is not as significant as some other planets and houses. The problem is also most people only know their sun sign and not any other aspects of their chart. I will go into detail more about compatibilty in other posts. In this one I will tell you which planets and houses are important to look to see how compatible you are with your partner. 

Planets:

  1. Moon– Your moon is your inner emotions and how you process you them. It is in a lot of ways your true inner self. It is important to look at the moon because you want your partner to understand how you process conflict and emotions. Ideally, you want someone who processes in a similar way to you, therefore, you will have a better natural understanding of eachother.
  2. Mercury– Mercury is the planet of communication and it shows how you express yourself verbally. Ideally, you want someone who communicates similarly to you so that there is less miscommunication and you have a clear understanding of what the other person is trying to communicate to you.
  3. Venus– Venus is the planet of love. It shows how you like to be courted and how you court others. In order for you to have a romantic interest in someone, they need to speak your love language and understand how you like to be treated. If a prospective suitor is interested in you, this is the planet they should pay most attention to if they want to know the way to your heart.
  4. Mars– Mars is the planet of your energy and how you exert yourself. In romance, it represents your sexual energy. Sexual compatibility is important in partnerships, because being physically compatible creates great attraction. In the long term, having a natural physical attraction to eachother will go a long way.

Houses:

  1. 5th house– The 5th house represents your hobbies and love interests. This house shows what you like to do with your spare time and the traits of what you find attractive in a lover.
  2. 7th house– The 7th house is your house of one-on-one relationships. It is the house of commitment and marriage. It shows the traits of what you are willing to commit to. This house can also be the house of enemies. People with traits of this sign will either be very attractive or repulsive to you.
  3.  8th house– The 8th house represents your sexual energy in relationships. People who have traits of this sign will be very compatible with you in the bedroom.
  4.  11th house– The 11th house represents friendship. People with traits of this sign will form close friendships with you easily.