Dating in the modern day world can be quite frustrating and deceiving. Everything is based on apps and it’s all based on pictures and profiles. These pictures we see are “supposed” to be accurate depictions of how someone looks in person and the profiles (if they actually have a written profile) is “supposedly” the truth of who this person is. How many times have you shown up for a date and the person looks nothing like their pictures? How many times have you read someone’s profile and when you ask them about what they wrote, they look at you with a blank face not knowing what you are talking about? How many times has that person commented on your profile saying they have something in common with you that you had written and you find out that isn’t the truth? If you have been out there dating, I’m sure every single one of these situations have happened to you at least once.
Why do people feel like they have to mislead you by putting up their best photos of themselves and why do they feel like they have to write something untruthful about themselves to make them seem more attractive? A lot of the times, guys don’t even read the girl’s profiles, they just go based on her looks. Sometimes guys will even just swipe right on all girls, in the hopes that they will have a higher probability of girls matching with them. I even know people who will lie about their age because because they want to get a better pool of people.The only way modern day dating apps have been positive is that they expose you to people you would not meet on an everyday basis. Everything else frankly sucks! If you happen to get to the first few dates, men and women feel like they need to put on their “A” game. The guy is on his best behavior and pulls out all of the stops for her. The girl puts on her best face, dress, and demeanor to pull the guy in. Look, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to show the best parts of you, but why not also show the not so great parts of you right away? Why wait 6 months to a year to let your “real self” show? Here’s an old yet new concept for these times…how about being honestly and authentically YOU???? Along with my own dating experience and talking to hundreds of women about dating, if your “A” game is authentically who you are and you will be like this a year, 3 years, 10 years, um…forever, in other words, maintaining this “A” game, then by all means please do it! You don’t know how often I have heard women tell me “he just doesn’t do what he used to when we first started dating.” On the flip side, I’ve also heard men say “she just wears sweats all day when she used to put on makeup and dress nicely for me.” Wouldn’t we all feel less disappointed, less manipulated, and deceived if we all just showed who we authentically were at the very beginning? Now I know there are some people where education, salary, race, and religion are very important to them and they will not budge unless someone checks off all of their boxes, but guess what? They’re just boxing themselves into a much smaller dating pool. Why can’t we love people for who they are and not for what they are? A lot of the times, we fall for people who we thought would not be our type, but at the end of the day they actually are the right people for us. I know a woman who will only date Christian men in a city that is full of non-Christians and she is miserable. If she were to open it up to men who hold Christian-like values, but may not be Christian, wouldn’t that make things easier? In fact, the guy “who got away” in her mind, was her ex-boyfriend who was not Christian, but because he wasn’t Christian, she broke up with him. She ended up dating a guy who was Christian and he seemed to be perfect on paper, although she compromised on so many levels and then the relationship did not work out. How unfortunate is that? I will say, being the esoteric chick that I am, I do believe that on a soul level, our souls have chosen eachother before we met here on an earthly level. No matter what, we will meet this person whether it’s through a dating app, on an airplane, at a bar, or on the street. There is nothing wrong with having a list of what you want in your future partner, but at the same time, leave some leigh way for someone who will wildly surprise you because they are not what you expected. In my own personal experience, the Universe has brought me men I never knew existed and not only did I find joy in being with these men, it opened up my eyes to see that you just never know who you will fall in love with and it could turn out even better than you have ever imagined! In the end, we all want a partner who loves us for who we truly are, all the good and all the bad that comes along with us. So instead of playing your “A” game and looking for that person who is showing you their “A” game, why not play the “YOU” game and find a partner who is also playing their “YOU” game, it just might save you some time and heartbreak in the end.